Berets Not Cause of French Riots

PARIS, France -- (CNN -- Cloche News Network) -- In the aftermath of the recent French unrest, many politicians and analysts have presented their speculations why the riots took place. Recent hypotheses have been announced by Gérard Larcher, France’s employment minister, who suggested that polygamy was a cause, and by French Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin, who announced that rap music was not a cause.

Adding to the rampant speculation as to why unassimilated and angry youths of foreign extraction who feel no loyalty to la belle France might erupt into violence after years of neglect and discrimination, today the French minister of high fashion Lola Vavoom announced that the iconic berets were not a cause of the riots.

"There eez no basis to zee wild claim that berets 'ad anything to do with zee riots," Madame Vavoom said during a press briefing, conducted as she shopped in the fashion district. "Eet eez true that berets, zey are a sign magnifique of French culture and French identity, of zee gloire that eez being French! But, since zee rioters 'ave no sense of French culture, zey 'ave no French berets eezer. Berets are therefore not a cause of zee riots. Perhaps you should ask whezer baguettes are a cause, oui?"

The French Ministry of Baking and Pastries was not available for comment.