In Attempt to Close Deficit, Government Introduces New Tax on Taxes

WASHINGTON, DC -- (CNN -- Cash News Network) -- In the latest attempt to close the budget gap of ballooning public debt and massive deficit spending, Congress and the President have created a new, if controversial, revenue stream. In a press conference this morning, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-California) and President Obama unveiled two new taxes, which will be levied on current taxes and on taxpayers for being taxpayers.

"In effect," said Pelosi, "we will be taxing your taxes. If you are already paying taxes, then clearly you are a member of the evil rich, and you should be soaked for your resources so we can spread the wealth around. You will now be paying an additional tax on every tax that you currently pay. You will also pay another tax for the fact that your name is on the tax rolls. No, this is not odd. If city mayors can tax college students for being college students, I see no reason why we cannot tax taxpayers for being taxpayers.

"Oh, and you will now have to pay a substantial processing fee to the IRS every time you pay your taxes since it is expending manpower and resources to collect those taxes and to maintain the tax rolls."