Monday, December 28, 2009

TSA Security Personnel Issued New ID Cards

DETROIT -- BBC -- (Boxers Briefs Corporation News) -- In the aftermath of the failed Christmas Day terrorist attempt that involved a man attempting to detonate a bomb hidden in his underwear, new security measures have been put in place. All airline passengers will now be required to drop trou at security checkpoints.

In light of this, TSA employees will be issued new identification cards that read "Bikini Inspector."

Former President Bill Clinton expressed regret that this new "panty raid security" was not in place during his administration. Monica Lewinsky was unable for comment.

The overwhelming response from beleaguered air travelers now burdened by even more inconveniences has been negative. Nevertheless, the BBC was able to find one traveler who approved of the new measures.

"Let's be honest here," said the unnamed passenger. "Now it's legal for me to do what I've been wanting to do for quite some time. Here is my opinion of these never-ending so-called security measures that clearly haven't worked at all."

He then proceeded to moon the TSA.

2 Comments:

Blogger Brian J. Dunn said...

It was all just an honest mistake, Miverva.

As the TSA agent screening the Christmas Day Bomber said to him before he boarded, "Do you have a bomb in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

Celarly, they just thought it was the latter.

1:08 PM  
Blogger Mad Minerva said...

HA!

10:04 AM  

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