TSA Security Personnel Issued New ID Cards
In light of this, TSA employees will be issued new identification cards that read "Bikini Inspector."
Former President Bill Clinton expressed regret that this new "panty raid security" was not in place during his administration. Monica Lewinsky was unable for comment.
The overwhelming response from beleaguered air travelers now burdened by even more inconveniences has been negative. Nevertheless, the BBC was able to find one traveler who approved of the new measures.
"Let's be honest here," said the unnamed passenger. "Now it's legal for me to do what I've been wanting to do for quite some time. Here is my opinion of these never-ending so-called security measures that clearly haven't worked at all."
He then proceeded to moon the TSA.