Saturday, December 03, 2005

Brad Pitt to Adopt Angelina Jolie's Children, Madonna's Faux British Accent

HOLLYWOOD, California -- (CNN -- Celluloid News Network) -- Actor Brad Pitt has announced his intention to adopt Angelina Jolie's two children.

When asked why by reporters, Pitt replied, "Well, Angelina and I got used to playing house after filming 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith,' so this is just the next natural step."

If the adoption is finalized, the two young children's names will become Zahara Jolie-Pitt and Maddox Jolie-Pitt. Watchdog groups that monitor child abuse are watching the situation closely. One child advocate noted, "If these names become legal, the children could suffer significant psychological damage from being teased by playmates in the school yard. Also, their self-esteem may be crushed by the knowledge that they bear not just one, but two crazy celebrity Hollywood names. They may never be able to form their own identities."

Mr. Pitt replied, "Not at all. I want to adopt these two children to help them with their identity. Angelina agrees. Once these adoptions go through, none of us will any longer be embarrassed by the question 'Who's your daddy?' "

With adoption as an option now for his new life with Jolie, Pitt has announced that he will also adopt Madonna's faux British accent. "After all, I'm going to be marrying the real live Lara Croft," he said.

Pitt and Jolie recently returned from a visit to earthquake-ravaged Pakistan.

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