Thursday, December 29, 2005

Europe Launches Galileo Satellite, GPS Knockoff

PARIS, France -- (CNN -- Cosmos News Network) -- The European Union has launched a new satellite with the goal of setting up a European answer to the Americans' Global Positioning System (GPS) of satellites. The European Space Agency's new Galileo satellite was launched from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan. In a note of international cooperation, three non-EU nations -- China, Israel, and Ukraine -- are part of this venture, a fact which has prompted some comment.

"This Galileo business is just a cheap knockoff of our GPS system," said Stella Ryder, spokewoman of NASA. "Come on, the Chinese are on board. Who better knows about making knockoffs? Listen, don't be fooled by imitations. Demand the genuine article, the real GPS."

A spokesman for the ESA responded, "We are launching Galileo to aid us in our great new European space exploration program. We hope too to be able to use Galileo's GPS-like qualities to survey our own planet as well. Our first assignment will be satellite locating. We are most hopeful that Galileo will be able to help track global warming patterns and also to locate our moral high ground which we've . . . er, misplaced."

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