Friday, December 09, 2005

World Losing Patience with Iran, ElBaradei

I saw this headline on CNN ( "ElBaradei: World losing patience with Iran" ) and couldn't help myself. Enjoy the satire, kids.
OSLO, Norway -- (CNN -- Chernobyl News Network) -- Nobel Peace Prize laureate Mohamed ElBaradei, who is also head of the United Nations' International Atomic Energy Agency, has sharply criticized Iran. Mr. ElBaradei stated that the international community is losing patience with Iran and that nation's nuclear ambitions.

"If Iran does not fully comply with UN and international demands, we will have no choice but to scold it again in public," he said as he shook a rolled-up newspaper at the camera. "Bad dog! Bad dog! Ahem...If it still defies us, we will be forced to initiate a round of committees, meetings, talks, and tea parties with EU diplomats. If all else fails, we will impose meaningless sanctions against Iran along with UN resolutions which we have no intention of enforcing. At the same, we are preparing resolutions to criticize Israel; if Israel defends itself in case of Iranian aggression, we will have an entire slate of resolutions ready to roll."

At the same time, a blogosphere cartoonist poll suggests that the world is losing patience not only with Iran, but also with ElBaradei himself. Poll results suggest that a sizable part of the blogosphere is unhappy with ElBaradei's perceived inability to stop nuclear proliferation among rogue states.

However, an exclusive phone interview, reclusive North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il declared," ElBaradei is a fine man, a fine diplomat and a force for peace and stability in the world. Any criticism of him is unfounded. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go oversee the latest round of uranium enrichment which my friend ElBaradei has made possible."


Anonymous J.Doe said...

El Baradei really gave the ultimate threat to Iran when he said they can't have tea parties with EU diplomats. I bet the Iranians are just shaking in their boots.

4:57 PM  

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