Friday, March 12, 2010

New York City Politician Proposes Ban on Oxygen

NEW YORK CITY -- (CNN -- ) -- On the heels of Feliz Ortiz's proposal to ban salt in all NYC restaurant cooking, his colleague Nick Reaper has now proposed a ban on all oxygen in the greater NYC area. The move comes as an attempt to improve the health and safety of New Yorkers by reducing fire hazards.

Reaper admits that prior to submitting his bill he had not fully researched the role of oxygen in the functioning of human physiology.

"I did not think that was necessary," he said. "The testimony of FDNY personnel and physical scientists is incontrovertible. Oxygen is an essential factor in fires. There would be no fires without oxygen. Banning it is a sensible way to prevent devastating and costly fire hazards in New York City. If only oxygen had been banned in the 19th century, we might not have had a tragedy like the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire or, dare I say it, the fireballs from -- uh -- more recent New York history."

Initial public reaction to the proposed ban has been mixed. One wit on the street opined that instead of banning oxygen the gas, Reaper would better serve New York by banning Oxygen the TV channel.

Labels: ,