Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Fable of the Ant and the Grasshopper, French/EU-Style!

The following satire comes courtesy of the bloggers at No Pasaran. What would happen if you took the traditional story of the ant and the grasshopper and put it into the context of modern Euro-socialism and cultural silliness? Here's one answer! (By the way, the grasshopper is called a "cicada" in the satire, but the spirit of the story remains the same.) The traditional story is a lesson in the the need to work hard and live responsibly. The new version is, well . . . Enjoy!

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Traditional Version:

The ant works hard all summer in the heat. She builds her house and prepares provisions for the winter. The cicada thinks that the ant is stupid, and laughs, dances and plays all summer long. Once winter arrives, the ant is warm, cozy in her home and well fed. The cicada has neither food nor shelter and freezes to death.

THE END

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French Version:

The ant works hard all summer in the heat. She builds her house and prepares provisions for the winter. The cicada thinks that the ant is stupid, and laughs, dances and plays all summer long. Once winter arrives, the ant is warm, cozy in her home and well fed. The freezing cicada organizes a press conference and asks why the ant has the right to the heat and to be well nourished while the others less lucky as her are cold and hungry.The television networks organize broadcasts which show the cicada suffering in the cold and cuts to the video of the ant in her warm, comfortable little home, her table full with provision.The French are struck that, in such a rich country, one allows this poor cicada to suffer while others live in abundance. Anti-poverty organizations demonstrate in front of the ant’s house. Journalists organize interviews asking why the ant became rich on the back of the cicada and challenge the government to increase ant’s taxes so that she pays her "fair share".

In response to a poll, the government writes an economic equality law and a (retroactive) law on anti-discrimination. The taxes of the ant are increased and the ant receives also a reprimand for not having helped the cicada.The house of the ant is repossessed by authorities because the ant can’t pay her fines and taxes. The ant leaves France to settle successfully in Switzerland.The television networks report on the now fat cicada. He’s finishing the last of the ant’s provisions although spring is still far off. The ant’s old house become social housing for the cicada, decaying for lack of maintenance. Appeals are made to the government due to the lack of means. A commission is set up, which will commit 10 million euros. The cicada dies of an overdose.

Libération and L'Humanité comment on the government’s failure to take seriously the problem of social inequality. A gang of immigrant spiders are then found squatting in the house. The government is pleased with this display of multicultural diversity in France. The spiders start trafficking marijuana and terrorizing the community.

THE END

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