Tuesday, April 10, 2007

British Ex-Hostages to Star in Musical Reality Show "Iranian Idol."

TEHRAN, Iran -- (CNN -- Chanteuse News Network) -- CNN sources inside the Iranian television establishment have confirmed rumors that the 15 recently detained British sailors and Marines will soon return to Iran to star in a musical reality show titled "Iranian Idol."

A top television executive, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, "This seemed the most logical, natural outcome of recent events. The remarkable readiness and apparent delight with which these 15 performed for our cameras proved that they are natural-born stars of reality television. My network has been airing the copious footage we shot during their captivity -- I mean, surprise vacation -- and the scenes of the Brits eating, confessing, playing ping-pong, begging for forgiveness, parading in fashionable new Iranian suits, and so forth have been excellent propaganda -- I mean, entertainment. The ratings have been fantastic! So, of course, the audience wants more and more! In fact, this is now a cash cow -- aside from cornering the Iranian TV market, we've been beaming the video all over the Arab world with great results."

The reality show format for the 15's return had been under some discussion. Before the official announcement was broadcast, early rumors suggested that they would star in "Survivor: Iraqi Waters, British Rules of Engagement,""Big Brother: Tehran Edition," or possibly "Iran's Next Top Model."

When asked why the 15 will star in "Iranian Idol," the source replied, "This is no surprise, surely! President Ahmadinejad has been wanting to be Iran's Simon Cowell, shooting off his mouth at every opportunity for an audience of millions. Besides, it was clear to me that the musical, emotive format of 'Iranian Idol' will be the perfect venue for our British hostages -- I mean, guests -- when they return. After all, when they were here previously, they were absolutely singing like canaries."

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