ICE Changes Name to "Amnesty International"

WASHINGTON, DC -- (CNN -- Clemency News Network) -- In the wake of Congress's new immigration bill that will grant legal status to an estimated 12 million illegal immigrants, the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency (ICE) has changed its name to "Amnesty International."

Although the name currently belongs to a well-known human rights advocacy group, the government agency has confidently assumed ownership of the title by invoking the right of eminent domain.

A spokeman from the group formerly known as Amnesty International told CNN that the human rights group will now call itself World Humanitarians Insisting on Narcissistic Edicts, abbreviated to "W.H.I.N.E."

"In any other case, we would sue any group that attempted to usurp the use of our original name," said Mona Griper. "But in this case, really, the name 'Amnesty International' is now much more appropriate for ICE than it is for us."